I am Haitian

I left and went straight to the mall with my gift card burning a hole through my pocket. I knew exactly what I was going to buy...My first pair of skinny jeans at age 37! Better 'get in while you fit in, right'?? I also went to a lil kiddie birthday party and went back for seconds on a wonderful meal. I ate, I drank, I laughed. Nightfall...I went home with my husband and my children. I put on thier pajamas and put them to sleep in thier warm, clean beds. I took a shower and spent some time with my husband before we went to bed. Just before turning out the lights, I decided to check my emails. It was at this moment, I learned about the devastating earthquake that hit Haiti. This was the second time in my life where I was hit with that moment. The moment where I realize that nothing I did that day made a dam difference at all.
The first time I had that realization was the day my mother died. That day I went to class, hung out with friends and stayed out late....By the time I got home her soul had already been demanded from her and she had already breathed her last breath. It is in the aftermath of tragedy like an earthquake of unmatched proportions or the untimely death of someone you love to pieces that you ask yourself...What the hell am I doing? My Haitian mother...who 14 years ago cried at site of Haiti after having been estranged from it for several years. What would she do if she were alive today? While my Haitian brothers and sisters were losing thier lives, not knowing what hit them...I was in a dressing room in Macy's trying on jeans. While my people were getting cut down at the knees by yet anther devastation...I was throwing away food because i was full.
So as I sit at my desk and my co-workers pass me by. I feel the need to let them know....Hey...I'm Haitian. Hey...I'm really hurting right now...Hey...I still have family that I am hoping is ALIVE today. Do you care? Oh, what's that?...we have a conference call? You need me to follow up on this issue?
I remember a day, while still in college that I called my mother and she asked if I had eaten...I told her that I had arrived at the dining hall too late and had missed dinner. I didn't have money to buy anything and I would probably have cereal. She said...How can I eat if I know you have not eaten?... I feel that way today. I woke up healthy, unharmed, warm and fed while these ppl, our brothers, are suffering. They are injured. They will be sick. They will die. Today nothing else matters.