I have spent the past few days in "silence". Silent with my thoughts. Guarding the matters in my heart. Waiting. I realize that every waking moment was spent thinking about when I would leave for Haiti. When would I have the chance to witness for myself what had been done to Haiti? Waiting, waiting. Checking and waiting. Chatting and talking but waiting. Then I get the email on Friday morning.
"If I get the funds and the contacts I will leave on Sunday.....so if I call you let me know if you can come"
My reply, of course I can come
I had nothing burning on my heart. It is in those moments that my heart is full that I need to speak. I am here now. Ready to share. I haven’t watched much news. I haven’t listened to much of the radio. I am waiting. Waiting for word on this trip. I don’t believe that God would lead me this far and not go to Haiti.
My sister came to my house on Saturday with money and a tent. She and her husband dropped everything to come and see me. If you are from Haiti, you know you can't announce your trip to everyone or else you will be laden with items to pack in your bag. Once upon a time you could bring a larger than life suitcase to Haiti. Any time I would spot one I would say, that is a Haiti Suitcase! It was long and tall usually fake brown leather and you could bring like two or three of these on the plane. They were always full of cooking oil, rice, and sometimes frozen meat, shoes, clothes, soaps. You name it. When someone heard you were going to Haiti...Watch out because soon after came the "Can you bring this to my mother?", "Can you bring this envelope to my cousin?" Can you bring this bag to my Father?". I think it was because of us that the Airport started asking...did you receive anything from someone you didn’t know.
First my sister with the money and the tent, then my brother with more money then my father with more money then my cousin with more money! I feared a bit for my safety but I couldn’t refuse the request. Sunday I went to church and said goodbye to some people. I told them I was on standby. I was right? Someone is going to call me and tell me that I am going to Haiti right? Right??? Monday I go to work. Nothing. Tuesday I got to work. Nothing. Wednesday I got to work and then to church again that night. NOTHING! People are now feeling bad for me. "I thought you left already" they would say. I put on my strong face, stretched tight and straight smile and raised eyebrows....""I'm on standby", I would tell them. What that meant I didn’t know, but it was better than trying to explain that the organization we were going with was not getting back to us and that we really weren’t sure if we were going at all. Thursday...I woke up...bags still packed. I went to work again. I chatted and emailed again. I even told people that the trip was postponed. All my friends were like maybe its not meant to be. I agreed. It wasn’t happening smoothly. It wasn’t falling into place anymore. I posted a note on my facebook to the effect that I was moving on and I was resolved. The messages and comments poured in about the prayers and how maybe it wasn’t God's will....yes, yes, yes...I know. I was resolved in my heart however. If it wasn’t meant to be, why force it and end up dead or injured. I stayed at work a little late, went to pick up my daughters from my in-laws house. Hung out there for a while. Took my time and made it home. I was going to a wake that night and possibly going to be singing a song for the late father of a dear friend. When I got home I took a shower. Googled the address for the funeral home and had about two hours to get showered and get there by 6pm. I get showered and wrap a towel around my body. Then...the phone rings. Its my dear friend the doctor. She says "I have good news" I knew at that moment that I was going to Haiti. All I needed was the details. She told me there was a bus leaving for Haiti from Santo Domingo on Friday morning at 9am. My mind did the quick math. We had to leave TONIGHT! Wow. Like this? A week ago, I had a perfect schedule made out for coverage at home. A friend would watch the girls for me, my sister would cook a meal for Eric, my niece would sleep over to watch the girls, and my in-laws would pick them up on Friday. I did laundry and the house was spic and span. A week ago. It was later that week now and I cancelled my niece because I was sure I wasn’t going. I let the house go a bit and my friend was working early the next morning. Instead, my husband had to take the next day off, there was a snow storm coming, I had to drive an hour and a half to JFK airport instead of Newark, I had to pay 2x's as much for my ticket and I just got my period!!! All of this just hours before I was leaving for earthquake torn, no water, hot as the equator, Haiti. nooooooooooooooo! This is not how I planned it.
Time and time again I have seen that this is the way God prefers to work. Had I gone when everything was all perfect and planned perhaps I would not been as in tune with how he worked out every detail. How in those moments everything came together.
I had just few hours to get ready. It was 5pm and I would be leaving in 4 hours to get to JFK airport. Still wrapped in my towel, I sat down and booked our flights. I paid with the credit card of a team member I had never met. I sent them the itinerary. Called them and said we are leaving on the 1255am flight. TONIGHT. With that I started to get myself ready. I told my husband that I needed $200 cash, my antibiotic prescription (to give away) and a box of power bars.
I called a friend to give me a ride to the airport. Check. I called my sisters and brothers to tell them that I was definitely going. Check. I got dressed and debated whether or not to bring sandals. I left them behind. Check. I had to get the girls bathed and ready for bed without crying. Check. I gave the 3 year old a Princess Tiana flashlight to keep her busy and happy. I told her that I was going to Haiti to help the little children and their families. I told her that if she got scared she could turn on her flashlight. She was so happy. She went to be without a fuss. I sent an email to my family with website and some phone numbers and my itinerary. Send. Check. I planned to leave at 930pm. at about 915 I decided that I really should wash my hair before I left. It was filthy and I didn’t want to go with filthy hair. I stood at the sink and washed it while my friend waited. It was just one of those things I HAD to do. With hair slicked back, smelling good, dripping...I was ready to go. I asked my friend to wait outside while my husband and I took a moment to hold each other and pray on the loveseat. I drove to the airport. My hands were shaking a bit. I was hungry and didn’t get to eat anything until I got to the airport. I paid $10 for a flimsy salad. I thought...It may be my last good meal till I get back so may as well. They finally begin boarding and I realize that I forgot to call my job and tell them that I am leaving for Haiti!!!...With bags in hand, on line waiting to hand over my boarding pass...At midnight, I call my boss's cell phone and leave him a message of by the way....I'm leaving for Haiti RIGHT NOW and I wont be back until next Thursday. (He knew I was leaving just not at that moment!). I board the plane and we are OFF...I'm going to Haiti...we are OFF...I'm going to Haiti...
No comments:
Post a Comment